Archive for people

To know someone

To learn new things, I must put aside what I already think I know. To get to know a person, I must do the same. I must not forget that. Ever.

The person in front of you is you

Simple truth: everything has a reason for being exactly how and what it is. Most of the times, though, we are blinded by ourselves and our involvement enough, not to see the cause of the effect and think that the cause is simply what came just before what was caused – meaning: if you are blind, maybe you cannot see and therefore maybe you should not take it upon yourself to be the jury of your fellow human beings?

It is far too easy to not listen to others. Sometimes our emotions blind us and we strike out at the person before us. It is, of course, a strike in the dark: a falsely made accusation, if we make it without seeing – or without listening to what it is that is in front of us.

We all speak of things and we speak of them intentionally. Most of the times, anyway. Whatever we speak of comes from somewhere; it does not just show up there in our heads (if we don’t have a mental disorder at the time, but that is an entire different discussion). Part of it comes from within us, but whatever it is, it starts from the outside and we react to it, making something new of it inside ourselves. From there, that will cause new things, new thoughts.

We are not perfect. We are human beings; nothing more and nothing less. The conclusions we make are therefore not perfect. They can be very good and very well thought through, but it does not make them perfect. Why? Because we cannot know everything about everything, that is why.

Do we always understand another human being completely? Do we always understand ourselves completely? There is not even one single human being on this planet that can honestly and rightly say “yes” to those questions. Not one.

Still we judge and condemn.

Be not so swift with your judgement, be loving and try to understand, because whoever you have in front of you, knows as little about things as you do. I do not want to hate and I do not think there are people out there that want to either, not even the insane ones. You can be sure of that whoever you have in front of you thinks the same, even if it is not always so apparent to you, or even to that person. Hate and hateful acts have causes and those causes come from somewhere outside of the people executing the hateful acts.

The need for love, however, and the potential to love, is always within us. Strangely enough, love is sometimes harder to show than hatred and anger. As a little boy I sometimes heard from the adults, that if a boy hit a girl, it could be interpreted as if the boy actually loved the girl. What world is that, where we fear showing love? I refuse accepting that that world is this world. If we all want and need love, how is it that we continue to not see that need and that want in others?

If you act unlovingly towards me, I will try to understand you and I will still love you. I might not want you near me if you continue on that path, but I will still love you – because I know that you are no different from me or anyone else, in the sense that you do not know everything about everything. I will not judge you. I cannot, because to do that, I would have to know everything about you and that is something not even you do.

I am not saying that it is easy, because it is not easy, in fact it is often very, very hard, but if we do not try to stop this blindness, if we do not open our eyes and start to listen, who will and when?

The person in front of you is you – whoever it is and whatever it was that happened.

As we push on

The light always seems too bright when you have spent a long time in the dark. It hurts your eyes. There is an actual pain and you want to avert your eyes, even if you do not really want to, it is what you do to avoid the immediate pain, and then, you turn your gaze back onto the light and again off and on, until you can see more clearly. Should the light then disappear and you find yourself in the dark again, you do no longer feel at home in the dark like you did before – it is worse than before, because for a while now you will be blind and you long for the light to return. Suddenly you feel cold and alone in the dark.

You know you did not start out that way; once you were in the light, once, a very long time ago, but somewhere along the road it got darker and darker until the light was all gone. That was a long time ago and all you can remember, if anything, was that something is missing.

Love. The light of the heart, the reason for everything, the very reason of life. You remember it vaguely. Like some all but forgotten dream you had a long time ago. You sit there in the dark, because now you are blind and there is much reason to not walk blindly down the road. Not just now anyway. You need to get adjusted to the dark before you move on again.

After a while you feel you need to decide if you push on or if you stay. Most of us push on, but some stay. Some stay in the general area, too scared to go on like the blind. Some stay permanently right where they lost the light. Some more than others. Permanently, only leaving their breath, their short lived imprints on the ground, there, somewhere in the dark. Fragments remembered by only a few and ever slowly fading into the full darkness, where no one will ever find what once were and is no more.

The few that remember go on carrying the imprints in the light of their hearts, but the imprints are stained, like the broken glass on the ground at an old abandoned house. You remember the old times, the old familiar feelings about them. Near, but never near enough to touch and you feel saddened by it and you push it away as far as possible. As though you do not want to be cut by the glass, you push it to the side with your shoe and you look at it again and tell yourself that it was a long time ago, another life, another world entirely. You walk away. And they stay.

For the ones that do push on in the darkness there is still hope for the light again. That is why they push on. They cannot stay, not there, in the dark, all alone and cold. There is always hope, even if faint at best at times, that they will see the light again. Love. Life. The reason for moving. The reason for all movement in the universe.

Being the reason for all movement in the universe, love finds the ones that seek it. It does not stay, because it is the reason for everything, the reason for movement. The cause of it.

We may not always have a clear vision and sometimes it will hurt our eyes for a while, especially if we lose track of where it is. The turns we can, might and will take are plenty and not always is the path clear, and at times our view of the stars are obscured by the clouds or some fog that lie heavily and thick before us. Those are the times we must rely on our instincts, on our faith that our movement will lead us back to the light, to love. We never give up that hope, and it is our hope that keeps us moving and it is our moving that gives us hope.

We may not always know the direction exactly and we may even be way off course, but we push on, because we know that there is light out there somewhere. The ones that do not seek it might not find it and even the ones that seek might not always find the kind of light sought for on the first try or even on the eleventh one, but if your heart is in it, and you keep your faith in it, the light will shine upon you and you will find yourself, after a while, looking straight into it again and it will be the light the guides you home.

Home. I remember home. Faint, but more and more for each day that passes in the light. I can almost make it out, there, ahead of me. There, before my eyes, where the light shines.

For the ones that was not born into the light and never got a chance to see it, I weep. For the ones that stayed in the dark, I weep. And so does all that seek the light.

The light. Love. The very cause of movement. The cause of all life. I remember life. I am moved by it. It caused me and through me more life and more love and more light. Love is not still, it moves and causes more love, more light, more life – and life is what you are and by that: love. You are love, you are life and you are light. You have never been anything else. Remember that.

And remember that the ones that stayed in the dark were no different from you. Sometimes we forget that, when we stumble over them and pass them in the dark.

The fusion of minds

I find myself in bewildered amazement. And it is a good thing. The fusion of minds is a wondrous thing. Not easy, but wondrous.

In awe, I am

In the absence I am distracted to a tremble by every sound and by the heat of it all. How strange turns a path sometimes holds for us. It can question the map you hold in your hand and rightly so, for who are we to know the complexity of truth? There are explanations to everything, but I do accept that I will not always have or get them. In awe, I am.

We are all idiots

For reasons yet unknown, I am still in the dark when it comes to people. It is not for the lack of trying, I have spent most of my life pondering about the human being. Even I, am a great mystery to me. I wish I knew more, but I don’t. I still am learning a lot every day, but it seems to be a never-ending quest. I learn something and I lose something.

I have learnt a lot about myself these past few years. Different things. Small and big. I have also learnt a lot about other people, some living, some now dead. The thing is, that when all added up, I still do not know enough. Not about myself and not about others. I am, however, seldom surprised anymore. Most people are just like the next one – mostly because I do not know them well enough to tell them apart. Honestly, there is not room enough in my head for all of you that I already know, let alone the ones I do not yet know, or will never know.

Is there any point to all this? Not really. Most people are idiots and me included – but it does not really matter, once you learn to see past that. You just have to get used to the idea. You know, that we are all idiots. Once you have done so, it will get easier to forgive and forget (I know. it is easy for me to say with my memory – or lack thereof, but you know what I mean) and move forward. We all do and say some really fucked up shit sometimes. Me too (no, you do not have to give examples, people get it).

So, ask yourself: who do you want to be? Or more accurately: how do you want to be? How do you intend to live your life? Are you willing to risk losing someone who actually could have been your best friend for life, over something so little as anything? I do not know about you, but when I go, there better be people laughing and cursing over my grave – no matter what reason.