Archive for love

A Single Quest

Quest. Windmills. Love. Pain. Fears. Caution. Masks. Opportunities. Moment. Passed.

Suddenly, and again, all the world’s a stage… I’m a really bad actor.

Be. Love. Simple. Hero.

The chain reaction of evil

Yesterday hatred, and/or perhaps insanity, showed its ugly face in Norway. Voices of anger and hatred are raised all over the world. I have no words of my own, so I’ll borrow a few:

“Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction. […] The chain reaction of evil — hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.”

Martin Luther King, Jr

Sometimes it seems that love in man is buried so far down, so deep inside, that I almost lose all of my own light. I have nothing but pain and tears to offer on a day like this. But tomorrow… I’ll still be loving you.

Illusions of grandeur

Love ephemeral makes no sense to the human heart.

Anyway…

“So you sailed away into a grey sky morning…”

“And now for something completely different.”

Anyway… the sun is shining and I’m going to enjoy that.

To be myself

It’s hard to be myself. Everyone seems to have ideas about how and who I should be. Well, almost everyone I know or meet anyway. Maybe I am different? Maybe people always have these ideas about everybody else but themselves? Whatever the cause, they always make me feel like I am different and that makes me feel alone sometimes. On the other hand I do not always understand their ways. It is no small thing to not understand what goes on around me and sometimes it hurts me deep within to not understand, when at the same time they want me to be someone else. Especially since I like myself the way I am.

I do not mean to say that I do not want to change things about myself that I know is not good for me (or others). I just want you to let me be myself. If I am not allowed to be myself, I cannot shine with my own light. How am I supposed to be able to find my heart behind someone else? I am meant to be free and that is what I am. I am only bound by the shackles that I create for myself. In love, that is far too easy to do and most of us do it, even though we shouldn’t do that to ourselves.

I let people be themselves; however strong I am I will not ever demand change on anyone – not because I cannot, but because everyone is meant to be free to be who they are. In fact, I love it when you are free to be the one you are, without the prejudices of the world holding you back.

I am not someone who is to be fitted into your ideas of what a good man is. I might not be perfect in every aspect and to be honest, neither are you, and I do not bug you about that – because there is no need; you are loved for the one you are, in all the good and all the things that might be a little more difficult to comprehend about you.

The truth is that we all change all the time, but good change comes out of love and the freedom to give love back, and love is partly to let people be themselves. Change sometimes takes a lot of time and perhaps it is not for all to have the patience to allow that time to pass, but if you do not have that patience, will you still expect someone else to have that patience for your changes?

So, will you, please, let me be myself, so that I can shine with my own light?

Unheld as I am

This night is far too long, yet I already dread the morning light and it is far too soon for that.

The person in front of you is you

Simple truth: everything has a reason for being exactly how and what it is. Most of the times, though, we are blinded by ourselves and our involvement enough, not to see the cause of the effect and think that the cause is simply what came just before what was caused – meaning: if you are blind, maybe you cannot see and therefore maybe you should not take it upon yourself to be the jury of your fellow human beings?

It is far too easy to not listen to others. Sometimes our emotions blind us and we strike out at the person before us. It is, of course, a strike in the dark: a falsely made accusation, if we make it without seeing – or without listening to what it is that is in front of us.

We all speak of things and we speak of them intentionally. Most of the times, anyway. Whatever we speak of comes from somewhere; it does not just show up there in our heads (if we don’t have a mental disorder at the time, but that is an entire different discussion). Part of it comes from within us, but whatever it is, it starts from the outside and we react to it, making something new of it inside ourselves. From there, that will cause new things, new thoughts.

We are not perfect. We are human beings; nothing more and nothing less. The conclusions we make are therefore not perfect. They can be very good and very well thought through, but it does not make them perfect. Why? Because we cannot know everything about everything, that is why.

Do we always understand another human being completely? Do we always understand ourselves completely? There is not even one single human being on this planet that can honestly and rightly say “yes” to those questions. Not one.

Still we judge and condemn.

Be not so swift with your judgement, be loving and try to understand, because whoever you have in front of you, knows as little about things as you do. I do not want to hate and I do not think there are people out there that want to either, not even the insane ones. You can be sure of that whoever you have in front of you thinks the same, even if it is not always so apparent to you, or even to that person. Hate and hateful acts have causes and those causes come from somewhere outside of the people executing the hateful acts.

The need for love, however, and the potential to love, is always within us. Strangely enough, love is sometimes harder to show than hatred and anger. As a little boy I sometimes heard from the adults, that if a boy hit a girl, it could be interpreted as if the boy actually loved the girl. What world is that, where we fear showing love? I refuse accepting that that world is this world. If we all want and need love, how is it that we continue to not see that need and that want in others?

If you act unlovingly towards me, I will try to understand you and I will still love you. I might not want you near me if you continue on that path, but I will still love you – because I know that you are no different from me or anyone else, in the sense that you do not know everything about everything. I will not judge you. I cannot, because to do that, I would have to know everything about you and that is something not even you do.

I am not saying that it is easy, because it is not easy, in fact it is often very, very hard, but if we do not try to stop this blindness, if we do not open our eyes and start to listen, who will and when?

The person in front of you is you – whoever it is and whatever it was that happened.

The enemy within

The enemy within. Fear. I feel fear sometimes and so do we all. We cannot escape fear, but we can acknowledge it and accept that it exists, there within you sometimes. It is how we deal with it that is important, not that we have it. Myself, I refuse to give in to fear. I will not back down because of fear. Not giving in is what takes us the furthest or the highest.

Fear is actually a good thing. Without it we would do even more stupid things than we actually do. We would take unnecessary risks. Most of the times, though, fear is to be overcome. This is how we grow as human beings and what makes us stronger and makes us believe in ourselves and in others.

I fight this fear in one way or another each and every day. Sometimes it is small and sometimes big, but I will not give in to the enemy within. Fear is the opposite of love and I won’t have my life governed by fear when the opposite is so much better. Overcoming fear is love and love is what takes you the distance. To the place you want to be in life. To the place where we all want to be: inside of love.

How do I fight the fear I have? I do not really know. I embrace it and tell it “Hey! I see you, but I have other things to do. I have a life to live and love to give. I have seen where I can go when you are not here, so take a hike, be gone!”, and it usually does so. It comes back sometimes and I have to say it again and it goes away, and the more I tell it to go somewhere where the sun does not shine, the less often it comes back and I really like that. It gives me more space for love and life.

Fear can teach you things about yourself. Ask yourself why you are scared and if you answer honestly, you will find knowledge about yourself that you did not know you had in you. Do not simply ignore fear, because that does not work. Ignoring fear is just like telling it “hey! do you mind if I stick my head in the ground, because I find you really, really ugly”. Telling it that won’t keep it away, it will only wait until you withdraw your head from the ground again. Embrace it and ask it what it is that it is doing there and why? The answer you will get is often quite an experience for you. Do this, and you will find that this uninvited guest will show up less often. Just do not think that it will disappear completely, because it will not. That is just the way it is, or so I believe.

Am I scared right now? Yes, I am. Immensely. But I deal with it. I have no time, space or much care for fear, so instead I try to live and love the best that I know how to. I am still learning how to deal with fear and I suspect that it will take a long time to master, but meanwhile I will not give in to fear – I have no space for it inside of me. When fear comes, my body always seems a bit to crowded – something has got to go and it is not me.