Party wipe of one

Late update on my quest to slay The Sinister Dragon:

So…I managed three months of being free of snus. The thing that got me in the end was the unexpected gain of weight. Without being aware of it I substituted the tobacco with food. Like an assassin it crept up behind me and wounded me deeply. In that state I was left with only two choices: becoming a fat bastard or walk back to the dragon and beg him to help me – I chose the latter and was once again one of many in the dragon’s legions of minions.

However, I do not consider it a total loss; I know now that I am able to rid of my addiction to snus, I only need a better strategy next time. One day I will succeed to defeat The Sinister Dragon

[The End of Episode One - roll credits]
Me - The hero Varis
 Snus - The Sinister Dragon
 Kickstarter - sidekick to the hero
 Food - The Bloody Assassin
Special thanks to everyone who know me
No vegetables were harmed during this quest, however...
...a lot of animals were killed, cooked, and eaten

Footnote: Three Kickstarter projects were aided and successfully funded during this quest.